


A spidery kind of mischief

by frostysunflowers



Series: Of bright autumn days and things that go bump in the night [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Humor, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Phobias, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 00:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21045200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostysunflowers/pseuds/frostysunflowers
Summary: When Peter finds out one of Tony's biggest fears, it’s all the motivation he needs for a little mischief.





	A spidery kind of mischief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coconutknightshade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconutknightshade/gifts).

> Once again, more silliness! Whilst this is for fun, please remember that it's never fun to tease or scare someone if they have a phobia! 
> 
> Thanks to coconutknightshade for giving me this idea! <3
> 
> This is for the mischief and mayhem prompt from [hailingstars 13 Nights of Halloween challenge!]()

''Hey, Mister Rhodes, check this out!''

Rhodey looks up from his coffee with a thoughtful hum, smiling curiously as Peter approaches with his hands cupped together and clutched close to his chest. 

''It’s a spider,'' Peter says as he holds his hands out, parting them just enough for Rhodey to catch a glimpse of something hairy within. ''I found it in the bathroom.''

''Huh,'' Rhodey replies. ''Pretty big for a house spider.''

''I know!'' Peter grins and takes another peek. ''I’m gonna show Mister Stark.''

''I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Pete.''

''Why not?'' Peter frowns, tucking his hands back to his chest again. 

''Tony’s not the biggest fan of spiders,'' Rhodey explains, ''aside from you, obviously,'' he adds before sipping his coffee.

''Really?''

''Yep. They scare the bejeezus out of him. That’s a direct quote, by the way.''

Peter’s frown grows bigger for a moment, turning almost sad as he looks down at his hands. Then, like a switch had been thrown, his lips tweak into a sneaky grin. 

''Oh, _ god,'' _Rhodey moans. ''I’ve seen that look on Tony’s face a thousand times. Whatever it is,'' he points a warning finger at Peter, ''I want no part in it.''

Peter nods emphatically before hurrying off towards the elevator, leaving Rhodey to throw an exasperated look toward the ceiling. ''You’re messing with me now, right? You can’t seriously expect me to deal with two of them.''

_ ''I don’t know what you mean, Colonel.'' _

Rhodey sinks his elbows down onto the kitchen counter with a groan. ''Wasn’t talking to you, JARVIS.''

* * *

Down in the lab, music reverberates loudly with a bass so heavy that the tools by Tony’s feet rattle across the floor. Underneath the body of his latest fixer upper, Tony hums along around the little torch clutched between his teeth, grumbling here and there as he works. 

The music cuts off suddenly. He blinks, waits a second, and then sighs loudly. 

''JARVIS!'' he barks as he plucks the torch from his mouth and slides out from under the car. ''Where are your manners? You know better than to - ''

His words cut off as he spots something on the nearest workbench. It’s dark, spindly-looking and, to his horror, seems to be looking straight at him. 

''Holy - '' Tony leaps away, hurling his torch in surprise. It glances off the table, missing its mark by a few good inches. ''Jeez...'' He tilts forward to take a deep breath. ''Where the hell did you come from?''

The spider twitches a leg but otherwise remains still. 

Tony straightens up and narrows his eyes at the creature. It twitches again and he grunts in displeasure, a full body shiver jolting through him and zigzagging across his scalp. 

''Yeah, I see you, creepy.''

He knows Rhodey is upstairs somewhere, and it sure as hell won’t be the first time that Tony has asked the man to take out a spider for him. He feels completely justified in asking, because the thing sitting in front of him is hardly modest in size. It has to be at least half the width of his palm, maybe bigger with all the legs. 

The spider scuttles forward with intent, so quick that Tony yelps and trips over his own feet as he tries to gain more distance. As he stumbles back, he catches a glimpse of something on the ceiling. 

Something with messy brown hair and an impossibly wide grin. 

''Oh, I see _ you _ as well, Underoos,'' he growls with as much of a menacing glare as he can muster. 

''Do you like him?'' Peter asks, blinking at him with far too much innocence to be genuine. ''I found him in my bathroom!''

''You found that thing here?'' Tony grimaces, horrified at the thought of such a creature living in his house without him realising. 

Peter drops down to the floor and hurries over to scoop up the spider, grinning brightly at it as he softly runs a finger along its back. Tony barely suppresses the need to gag, instead swallowing loudly and taking another step away as Peter holds his hands out. 

''Mister Stark, are you scared of spiders?''

''No,'' Tony snaps immediately. ''No, I’m not.''

''Huh,'' Peter cocks his head curiously, still looking far too innocent. ''It’s just...you seem a bit on edge, that’s all.''

''I’m fine,'' Tony replies hurriedly, turning and marching towards the door. ''In fact, I’m hungry. Yeah, starving, is what I am. So let’s go upstairs, order some pizza and you can…'' he waves a hand, ''put that thing outside.''

''Sure thing, Mister Stark.''

Tony stands as far away from Peter as he can in the elevator, furiously fighting the urge to twitch and slap his skin as he feels the imaginary but far too realistic sensation of something crawling up his back. 

Peter does as he’s told and heads to the balcony so he can put the spider out. Tony would have preferred that he take the thing all the way down to the street, run along a few blocks and leave it in an alley somewhere, but he’ll take what he can get. Just as long as it’s not in the house, near him, looking at him. 

* * *

The spider reappears the next day. 

Then the day after that. 

_ And _ the day _ after _that. 

Every room Tony steps in, the spider is there. Perched on the kitchen counter, sitting beside his favourite mug in the cupboard; he even found the wretched thing hanging out the softest and therefore highly coveted pillow on the couch, rendering it completely untouchable to him for the rest of his life. When Bruce hugs it close to his chest later that evening, Tony’s skin crawls. 

Peter is suspiciously absent, as though his presence has been replaced by an actual spider. It sets Tony on edge, every nerve in his body on high alert, his senses strung too thin, making everything innocent and mundane appear hairy and long-legged and all kinds of repulsive. 

In the end, he resorts to drastic measures, because he’ll be damned if he lets a spider, full or half, get the best of him. 

* * *

The communal area is quiet. The kitchen counter is clear except for a few coffee mugs that haven’t quite made it into the sink, and there’s a blanket draped messily over one of the couches. 

It’s empty. 

Or, at least, it appears to be.

The elevator arrives and opens, revealing nothing inside. Then, the helmet of the Iron Man suit appears, cautiously poking out from around the corner and looking around. 

''JARVIS?''

_ ''I am detecting no other signs of life in the room aside from your own, sir.'' _

''Good,'' Tony mumbles and heads into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. 

His faceplate lifts up just as he hears a noise, the unmistakable sound of someone holding their breath as they try not to laugh. 

It’s directly behind him. 

Why he makes the decision to turn around, he has no idea. 

But he does. 

And finds the spider an inch away from his face. 

The sound he lets out is a truly undignified and ear trembling screech. His hand flies out instinctively, not only knocking the spider out of Peter’s hand but also catching the kid on the side of his head. He promptly lets out a squeal of his own and plummets to the floor. 

''What the - oh, god_damnit_, kid,'' Tony moans, sinking down to his knees beside Peter. ''JARVIS! You said there was nobody else here!''

_ ''You asked me whether there was anyone within the room. At the time you arrived, there was not. Master Peter entered just after you did.'' _

Tony’s glare intensifies. ''You’re too smart for your own good, you know that?''

_ ''Thank you, sir.'' _

With a shake of his head, Tony starts to reach out to Peter, only to leap up again as he spots the spider huddled by Peter’s foot. In the suit, he knows he’s as safe as can be, but the spider seems to take this as a challenge and starts to head towards him. 

Power bursts from his hands and feet and Tony shoots into the air, hitting the ceiling with a loud clang. 

On the ground, Peter starts to laugh. Still clutching his no doubt aching head with one hand, he points up at Tony with the other as he howls. 

''Laugh it up, you little shit,'' Tony calls down to him. ''You wait until I start leaving peppermint candies all over your room.''

Peter stops laughing immediately. ''You wouldn’t.''

''Oh, sure I would,'' Tony says. ''Maybe I’ll even stick them to the door of the snack cupboard.''

Peter rolls his eyes and stretches out with a groan. ''Fine. You win.''

Tony sighs quietly in triumph. ''I always do, kid.''

Later on, after the spider has been safely released back into the wild, they sit together on the couch, Tony out of his suit and kindly holding a bag of frozen peas against the impressive bump on Peter’s head. 

''Still can’t believe you don’t like spiders.''

''Still can’t believe_ you _decided to torture me like that. After everything I’ve done for you. Talk about ungrateful.''

''When you found out I was scared of clowns, you taped a mask to the inside of my wardrobe! If you ask me, that’s worse than - it’s not funny!''

''I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re right, kid. Call it even?''

''...Yeah, okay.''

The truce lasts for a full forty eight hours. 

Then Peter turns up with a fake knife sticking out of his head and the madness starts all over again.

**Author's Note:**

> You can guess what happens after this haha. And yes I can't help putting JARVIS in fics even though in canon he's become Vision by the time Tony meets Peter. I miss JARVIS *cries* 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
